In today’s fast-paced and demanding world, many of us find ourselves caught in the pressure of “having it all.” The expectation to effortlessly manage work, kids, social life, life admin and everything in between can be overwhelming. We see images of perfectly groomed superwomen on social media, and it’s easy to believe that they have it all figured out. However, the reality is far from it. Behind those well-curated images, many women are struggling to keep their sanity on a daily basis.

Mornings in my household are an absolute chaos. Trying to get the kids ready for school feels like a never-ending battle. The mess, the rush, the struggle to remember every little detail—it’s enough to drive anyone insane. And then there’s the seemingly impossible task of getting my daughter’s hair presentable before school. It’s a miracle if a comb even goes through it!

But here’s the thing: I’ve come to realise that I’m not alone in this struggle. After a heart-to-heart conversation with fellow mums at a recent kids’ birthday party, it hit me that we’re all facing the same challenges. We all feel like we’re constantly falling short of this mythical standard of having it all together. And when you have a child with special needs, the daily battles can escalate into a whirlwind of insecurities and feelings of failure.

The truth is parenting is a tough gig. Life is messy, and it doesn’t always align with the picture-perfect images we see. We’re bombarded with unrealistic expectations from society, but the reality is far from that. Trying to attain that level of perfection will only send you straight to the psych ward in a straitjacket. It’s important to acknowledge that it’s okay not to have it all figured out. It’s okay to struggle and feel overwhelmed.

Instead of chasing after an impossible ideal, let’s focus on finding our own version of balance. Let’s prioritise what works for us and our families. Sometimes, it means embracing imperfections and letting go of the pressure to have it all. It’s about understanding that even if dinner is just noodles and warmed-up frozen veggies, that’s more than enough. We’re all doing the best we can, and that deserves recognition and self-compassion.

While it’s important to embrace our own capabilities, it’s equally vital to recognise when we need help. Asking for support is not a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of strength and self-awareness. Whether it’s seeking therapy, connecting with fellow parents, or finding ways to take care of ourselves, reaching out for support is crucial for our well-being.

Therapy can be an invaluable resource for managing the pressures of modern life. A therapist can provide a safe space where you can freely express your thoughts and emotions, and they can help you develop strategies to cope with stress, anxiety, and feelings of overwhelm. Therapy can be particularly beneficial for parents who are navigating the unique challenges of raising a child with special needs. A therapist can offer guidance and support tailored to your specific circumstances.

In addition to therapy, finding a community of like-minded individuals can make a world of difference. Connecting with fellow parents, whether it’s through local support groups, online forums, or social media platforms, can create a sense of belonging and provide a space to share experiences, seek advice, and receive encouragement. Knowing that you’re not alone in your struggles can be immensely comforting and empowering.

Moreover, it’s crucial to prioritise self-care. Taking care of your own well-being is not selfish; it’s a necessity. Finding time for self-care activities, no matter how small, can help you recharge and maintain your sanity amidst the chaos of daily life. Whether it’s going for a walk, reading a book, practicing mindfulness, or pursuing a hobby, these moments of self-care are investments in your mental and emotional well-being.

It’s important to remember that the seemingly perfect super mums we see are also facing their own struggles and doubts. Behind those well-manicured facades, they’re just as human as the rest of us, and they are moments away from losing their composure. So, the next time you find yourself comparing your life to those picture-perfect portrayals, remind yourself that everyone has their own battles. Embrace your imperfections, let go of the pressure to have it all, and prioritise your own happiness and well-being.

Perhaps Michelle Obama was right when she said to Oprah Winfrey and their audience, as a mother, “you can have it but, not all at once”. Because in the end, that’s what truly matters. When you take care of yourself, you can be a happier and more present mother, daughter, sister, and friend.

Note: If you’re struggling, please reach out to anyone of these support networks in Australia.

Lifeline
Beyond Blue
Better Help